"My Connections to Play"

Play for young children is not recreation activity,...It is not leisure-time activity nor escape activity...Play is thinking time for young children. It is language time. Problem-solving time. It is memory time, planning time, investigating time. It is organization-of-ideas time, when the young child uses his mind and body and his social skills and all his powers in response to the stimuli he has met. 

--James L. Hymes, Jr., child development specialist, author

 Play is work that you enjoy doing for nothing.  
Evan Esar, humorist

The quote below doesn’t ascribe to the assignment, but I had to add this one. I am 55 years old and I am more energetic than many of my co-workers in their mid 20s. I believe the reason is that I have not abandoned play.

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

-- George Bernard Shaw, playright 

 My family was very supportive of my play. Being the oldest among three other siblings, growing up we had a play room. My father and mother made a kitchen set out of wood for us. My father did the carpentry work and my mother painted it silver and added the final touches. A rectangular cake pan was used for the sink and for the stove she painted on red burners and used pop bottle tops for the knobs.  Also my father used a real faucet and my mother ran a tube from a plastic enema bag that she hung above the sink on the wall. The tube had a clip on it. When we released the clip, the water ran down and out through the faucet. I also had a piano, dolls, table and chairs and dishes. Our play was supported in the public school as well as we were given 30 minutes of recess everyday. Play was very important to me as a child. I could be anyone I wanted to be. From pretending to be Aretha Franklin wrapped in my bedspread with fringe around the edges, singing in the mirror of my bedroom to pretending I was on the Johnny Carson show, I was happy when I played. For me, play was very safe. 

How Play Today is Different From the Play I Experienced as a Child

Play for children today is very different from how we played in the 1950s, 60s and 70s. First and most importantly, it was common to have both parents in the home and we were part of a close knit community as many people on our block were relatives. Children were told to go outside and play. We only had a few simple rules. Be home before the street lights came, do not eat at your neighbor's house and do not talk to strangers. It was also common for each family on the block to have at least four children. So there was always some sort of group activity going on. We were very physical and played all sorts of gross motor games such as Red Light Green Light and Mother May I. We governed our own play and followed game rules. However, children today are kept inside, and the only physical play they get is from some sort of instructional program such as karate, or T ball. Due to advances in technology, children spend hours sitting in front of a television, computer and or video game screen entertaining themselves, developing fast reaction skills. As a result, children are becoming more anti-social lacking conflict resolution and problem solving skills.  Also, other than a school or instructional group setting, children seldom get to interact and or play with the neighbors due to parents fearing for their child's safety. We were athletic and physically fit too. We had better body coordination and were able to govern our own play. Many children today however, have become sedimentary and are overweight.Although the differences are profound, there are activities that children still do, and that is engages in pretend play. 


The role of play in my life invigorates me to where I feel a sense of well being. When I was a child care director, sometimes doing paperwork would become tedious and monotonous. To relieve stress and relax, I would take a break and visit one of the classrooms to play with the children. I have also continued to incorporate play into my adult life. Often times when I am on my lunch break, I may teach a game I learned from the YMCA (the cup game) to my co-workers. The next thing you know, we are all laughing, and having fun. The laughter puts us in a good mood and we are ready to go back into the classroom for the second half of the day.

Relationship Reflection

The relationships in my life are important to me because as a human being having social, emotional, cognitive and physical needs, positive relationships fulfill these need

In a social context, through relationships I feel connected to others. Connecting with others creates a sense of belonging and affirms that my life matters. Also in meeting the needs of others, I feel a sense of purpose as I reciprocate meeting their needs as well.

In an emotional context, having positive relationships provides me with the means to express my feelings whether sad, happy, afraid, disappointed or angry. The first thing I want to do when something wonderful happens is to call someone and share it with them. And when negative feelings are involved, I feel so much better when I can talk to someone who will listen, offer encouragement and in a constructive manner (one that builds me up) correct me when I am wrong.

In a cognitive context, positive relationships provide me with the opportunity to exchange information about various issues in life. I also find that having a good conversation stimulates my mind. And as a result of going back to school, I have discovered that talking and socializing with others re-energizes me and increases my creativity. I believe that as human beings, we have a lot to learn from the life experiences of others.

Physically, I now understand that positive relationships are key to better health.  As these relationships fulfill the social, emotional and cognitive needs, I feel better physically. My energy level is high and I respond to problems a lot better. Being able to express my feelings allows me to relieve stress. And we all know that bottled up stress harms the body physically.  Also just the simple act of laughing together causes rich oxygen to flow to all of the organs in the body including the brain and  endorphins that are released  in the brain causes one to experience a sense of well being. Physical contact such as a hug from my grandchildren or my children at work helps me to feel better physically.

Below are just a few of the people that I have wonderful positive relationships with. And I am thankful for them all. I will mention however that each relationship is unique.Some involve me reaching out more, others involve equal share, but regardless they all meet some need that I have.

 

This is a photo of me and my father. Our relationship is special because I was 1 years old when he married my mother. And even though he and my mother had three other children after me, he treated me as his own. He paid for me to go to college and has always been one of the stable people in my life. Our relationship is sustained by a love for family. We call each other on the phone, send each other birthday cards and he always came to visit me no matter how far away I was. My father is a wonderful provider and when I went through my divorce in the late 80s, he helped me a lot financially with my two daughters. 

This is Monica, my youngest daughter. We have so much in common. When we lived together, we both would clean house and then watch Life Time movies together. Another bond that I feel really connects us together is our love for the Lord. Sometimes she will call me on the phone and tell me to change the channel to Joel Olsteen or TBN. Also we are able to be transparent with each other by sharing our successes as well as our failures.When  venting my frustrations to her,  she always responds with encouraging words. And even though we may disagree sometimes, our relationship remains strong.  

Now this little girl here, is my heart, Jael! She has two other brothers, and I love them very much, but she calls me to come and get her and when we are together we play games, watch television, cook and we just get along so well. She also has a wonderful sense of humor and makes me laugh at some of the things she says and does. To sustain this relationship, we call each other on the phone, she spends the night with me sometimes and we hug and kiss each other a lot. 

The biggest challenge in maintaining and sustaining relationships is that sometimes I am guilty of procrastinating tasks like mailing the birthday card out on time. Another area is that of learning to listen intently . Although I have come a long way in this area, I still have to make a very conscious effort to make sure I am truly listening.  I use to be really bad at forming a response in my mind while  the person was talking. 

Relationships in my personal life apply to my work life a well as I am able to apply the golden rule Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Since I know that relationships benefit me socially, emotionally, cognitively and physically, I want to enhance the lives of parents and their children  by meeting their social, emotional, cognitive and physical needs as well.

“Human relationships, and the effects of relationships on relationships, are the building blocks of healthy development” (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000, p. 4).

Human relationships are a part of life. Some relationships are healthy and positive while others are negative and draining. So we have to be willing to assess our relationships so that we can classify them by putting them in  their perspective places in our lives.