Relationship Reflection

The relationships in my life are important to me because as a human being having social, emotional, cognitive and physical needs, positive relationships fulfill these need

In a social context, through relationships I feel connected to others. Connecting with others creates a sense of belonging and affirms that my life matters. Also in meeting the needs of others, I feel a sense of purpose as I reciprocate meeting their needs as well.

In an emotional context, having positive relationships provides me with the means to express my feelings whether sad, happy, afraid, disappointed or angry. The first thing I want to do when something wonderful happens is to call someone and share it with them. And when negative feelings are involved, I feel so much better when I can talk to someone who will listen, offer encouragement and in a constructive manner (one that builds me up) correct me when I am wrong.

In a cognitive context, positive relationships provide me with the opportunity to exchange information about various issues in life. I also find that having a good conversation stimulates my mind. And as a result of going back to school, I have discovered that talking and socializing with others re-energizes me and increases my creativity. I believe that as human beings, we have a lot to learn from the life experiences of others.

Physically, I now understand that positive relationships are key to better health.  As these relationships fulfill the social, emotional and cognitive needs, I feel better physically. My energy level is high and I respond to problems a lot better. Being able to express my feelings allows me to relieve stress. And we all know that bottled up stress harms the body physically.  Also just the simple act of laughing together causes rich oxygen to flow to all of the organs in the body including the brain and  endorphins that are released  in the brain causes one to experience a sense of well being. Physical contact such as a hug from my grandchildren or my children at work helps me to feel better physically.

Below are just a few of the people that I have wonderful positive relationships with. And I am thankful for them all. I will mention however that each relationship is unique.Some involve me reaching out more, others involve equal share, but regardless they all meet some need that I have.

 

This is a photo of me and my father. Our relationship is special because I was 1 years old when he married my mother. And even though he and my mother had three other children after me, he treated me as his own. He paid for me to go to college and has always been one of the stable people in my life. Our relationship is sustained by a love for family. We call each other on the phone, send each other birthday cards and he always came to visit me no matter how far away I was. My father is a wonderful provider and when I went through my divorce in the late 80s, he helped me a lot financially with my two daughters. 

This is Monica, my youngest daughter. We have so much in common. When we lived together, we both would clean house and then watch Life Time movies together. Another bond that I feel really connects us together is our love for the Lord. Sometimes she will call me on the phone and tell me to change the channel to Joel Olsteen or TBN. Also we are able to be transparent with each other by sharing our successes as well as our failures.When  venting my frustrations to her,  she always responds with encouraging words. And even though we may disagree sometimes, our relationship remains strong.  

Now this little girl here, is my heart, Jael! She has two other brothers, and I love them very much, but she calls me to come and get her and when we are together we play games, watch television, cook and we just get along so well. She also has a wonderful sense of humor and makes me laugh at some of the things she says and does. To sustain this relationship, we call each other on the phone, she spends the night with me sometimes and we hug and kiss each other a lot. 

The biggest challenge in maintaining and sustaining relationships is that sometimes I am guilty of procrastinating tasks like mailing the birthday card out on time. Another area is that of learning to listen intently . Although I have come a long way in this area, I still have to make a very conscious effort to make sure I am truly listening.  I use to be really bad at forming a response in my mind while  the person was talking. 

Relationships in my personal life apply to my work life a well as I am able to apply the golden rule Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Since I know that relationships benefit me socially, emotionally, cognitively and physically, I want to enhance the lives of parents and their children  by meeting their social, emotional, cognitive and physical needs as well.

“Human relationships, and the effects of relationships on relationships, are the building blocks of healthy development” (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000, p. 4).

Human relationships are a part of life. Some relationships are healthy and positive while others are negative and draining. So we have to be willing to assess our relationships so that we can classify them by putting them in  their perspective places in our lives.