Communication and Culture

To answer the question do I interact differently with different groups of people, my answer of course is yes. Several groups I identify as having ongoing communication with are, preschool and school age children, parents at the child care center I work at, co-workers at my job, and my family members. Three strategies that could work with these groups are, adapting and asking questions (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011) and masking (O’ Hair & Weimann, 2009). 

Adapting is changing ones behavior to accommodate for differences and expectations (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). 

Asking questions is the process of digging deeper for accurate information as opposed to relying on generalizations about a particular group of people (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). Methods for gathering information include asking the person directly, researching the person’s culture, and possibly learning the person’s language. More importantly, there must be an exchange of information in order for a relationship to develop (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).  

Masking is a strategy that goes a long way when working with various groups of people. Sometimes it is not wise to show our real feelings. Masking is controlling facial expressions to avoid showing ones true feelings to avoid offending someone. 

When working with three year old preschool children I speak to them at child eye level to ensure that my message is received. I also use words that children understand and when new words emerge I take the time to explain their definitions in a context that the children can understand. Facial expressions and eye behavior are used to communicate with this group as well, (e.g.) smiling and giving the “look” a non-verbal cue used to address inappropriate behavior. According to O’ Hair & Weimann, (2009) one of the functions of eye contact is to influence attitude change. Voice tone varies ranging from light and happy to soft and empathetic, and sometimes firm. Other interactions include “informing”, the use of language to send and receive messages and asking questions (O’ Hair & Weimann 2009, p. 76). Additionally when interacting with children, I modify my behavior in anticipation of events. Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond (2011) refer to this as “adapt predictively” (p. 112). 

When communicating with parents, I am careful to use correct grammar, smile, and make eye contact. Also a strategy to consider in regards to communicating with parents is the gender of the parent. According to Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond (2011) men communicate to accomplish something, while women’s communication is relational. I find that female parents are more inclined to exchanging information and visiting the classroom than the male parents are.  Another strategy I use with parents a lot is “masking” controlling my facial expressions to prevent revealing my true feelings (O’Hair & Weimann, 2009, p. 110). As a professional, it is important that I remain positive in negative situations (e.g.) dealing with a child who has serious behavior difficulties. 

When communicating with co-workers, I adjust my interactions with them based on their behavior. Sometimes I am with a loud co-worker who likes to laugh and so I get loud with her and I say funny things to make her laugh. Other co-workers who are quiet, I tone my verbal cues down. I also find that even with co-workers I must control my facial expressions (e.g.) when in staff meetings, although I may not agree with something that is said, masking my true feelings can prevent discord, and negativity. 

When communicating with my two adult daughters, context is a determining factor. One daughter has a history of making bad decisions and has gotten herself in a bad spot. I realize that telling her what she should do is not a good strategy at all. The strategy that could help improve our communication could be for me to ask her questions in regards to how she would like for me to address issues that need to be addressed with her. The other daughter is the total opposite, yet I find myself adapting to her as well. One way I adapt to daughter # 2 is by assuming the listening mode as she sometimes holds the entire conversation. She also gets offended if she thinks I am not paying attention.

When communicating with my aunts (in their late 60’s and early 70’s) my communication with them is a little more formal. Since both of them are college graduates, I use correct grammar. 

When communicating with my parents, I am respectful of their choices for how they run their lives. This has not always been the case. Because my mother is a true hoarder, years ago we often had arguments about her house. But since I have come to accept my mother the way she is and because I am no longer trying to run her life, our relationship is great. As stated by Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond’s (2011) older people do not like to be talked to in a condescending manner. This is also an example of being mindful, a strategy for accepting others who are different from us (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond’s 2011).

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.